Once More Unto the Breech
by Wildgoose1
Summary: The Penguins world is turned upside down, forces are scattered, members go missing, and military downsizing.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: Penguins of Madagascar and all original storyline characters are the property of Nickelodeon and the respective creative talents of the show. The creation of this fan fiction is for enjoyment purposes only and no money is being made. All characters of my own creation remain my property and may not be copied or used without permission.

Once More unto the Breech

By

Wildgoose

(It is shortly before midnight, the full moon overhead casts its silver glow upon the earth beneath wherever that glow is not overwhelmed by the illumination of the sidewalk lamps around the zoo. All is quiet; an alternate zookeeper has finished making his rounds some time ago and has begun tending to other tasks that his job requires of him. Within the depths of the penguin habitat the scene focuses on Kowalski Jr.'s quarters to reveal that Jr. is not alone but accompanied by Ming who is currently sitting on a stool with countless wires attached to her body and the other end of those wires being connected to a variety of makeshift machines that Jr. has constructed.)

Ming: (As Jr. is paying close attention to monitor readout on his machines) So… where are all of the other penguins tonight? They were supposed to be at practice earlier.

Jr.: (Amused) Don't you already know?

Ming: (fidgets with annoyance) I can't read minds, Jr.

Jr.: (Disappointed tone) Still huh? (Pause) I'll never understand why you have so many other gifts but not THAT one, …it would be so COOL. (Shakes his head) I guess nature held out on you.

Ming: (Looks away for a moment) To be honest, that's one gift I'm glad I don't have. I still feel like a freak as it is with what I CAN do.

Jr.: I don't know why, nobody who knows thinks you're a freak.

Ming: Because nobody knows everything, (Looks away for a moment and then looks back)…Except you.

Jr.: (Shrugs) You're NOT a freak, Ming. (Looks at his equipment again and begins to compare the readings to past records.) I think you may have finally reached a plateau; you haven't had any new developments in a long time. (Sighs) Thanks for letting me do my thesis on you by the way.

Ming: (Looks uneasy for a moment as she tugs at the wires a little) Thanks for not making me feel like a lab rat. (Pause with a sigh) …And there are ALWAYS new developments, just most of them lately have been learning to control the previous ones.

Jr.: Mrs. Kitsune has really been good about teaching you; I can never understand how she manages to be so insightful.

Ming: It involves a LOT of meditation,…that much I know.

Jr.: (Yawns with fatigue) Okay, …so show me what control you've learned.

Ming: (Shrugs) I don't need to meditate to connect with other people anymore.

Jr.: (Smirks and crosses his arms) So you DO know where the others are?

Ming: If they happen to look at something or say something that gives their location away when I connect to them. (Reluctant pause as she closes her eyes for a moment) It looks like they're taking advantage of the zookeeper taking the night off for some meeting in the morning. They're in the park on maneuvers with those scaled down vehicles the zookeeper gave them a while back. I would have liked to have gone too if they had told me.

Jr.: The Humvees, …I'm still bugging skipper to let me drive one. They probably didn't say anything because you're usually too timid to leave the zoo unless it's with Hannibal or Mrs. Kitsune. (Pause) So why did you ask earlier if you already knew?

Ming: I didn't until just now; I'm trying not to use my abilities if I can help it. I'm trying to make myself feel more normal.

Jr.: I don't think there really is such a thing as normal anymore so you can stop trying. It's all a matter of perception and varies from person to person. …But if there were then among the humans I think being normal would involve having at least one body part pierced, one or more pieces of permanent body art called a tattoo, and a choice loud hair color.

Ming: Mrs. Kitsune and the zookeeper don't have any of those things.

Jr.: They're involved with US, …how normal could they be? (Ming looks at Jr. strangely for a moment before the silence is broken) Wait, are you sure about that? The zookeeper is professional human military; I thought all of those guys had body art of one kind or another. I think it's supposed to be a rite of passage or something.

Ming: I've never noticed anything. (Pause as Jr. stares at her prompting Ming to grumble) You want me to spy on them real quick don't you? (Jr. smiles) I promised Mrs. Kitsune that I wouldn't do that.

Jr.: Correction, from what you've told me you promised never to broadcast your voice into her head.

Ming: (very reluctant) Give me a minute, I can't guarantee either will be awake though. (Jr. shrugs as Ming closes her eyes) You're in luck; they're awake and not dressed.

Jr.: Ooh, nookie?

Ming: You're NOT getting details. (Jr. snaps his digits in jest) From what I can tell the zoo keeper is a contradiction to your theory, I see no body art. (Pause) Let me switch, (momentary pause) ….as I told you she's…what the?

Jr.: (Very curious) Yes?

Ming: (opens her eyes) Mrs. Kitsune has a …what did you call it?

Jr.: Tattoo.

Ming: (Complete surprise) She has one on her left rear shoulder, its Japanese text.

Jr.: I thought Mrs. Kitsune had taught you Japanese?

Ming: She did, the text quotes the seven virtues of the bushido code. (Still surprised) I just can't believe I never knew about that, when did she get it? …And WHY? (Jr. shrugs)

Jr.: I guess we'll never know because if you bring it up she'll know you were spying. (Pause with a smirk) So back to the abilities… how about the telekinetics? (Ming responds with a slight paw gesture prompting a mug to quickly slide across the table towards Jr.) Nice, …anything more substantial or can you just move small objects? (A moment of silence passes) Well? (Ming points gingerly towards the floor, when Jr. looks down he notices that he is suspended a few inches off of the floor) COOL! (He looks over at his equipment to notice the change in readings as he drops back to the floor) Is that all or is there anything else? (Ming sighs as she gets off of the stool with the wires trailing her and walks to a scented candle burning at the corner of the workbench. Jr. looks slightly embarrassed that he's left it lit and in the open.) Oh uh…sorry I'd forgotten about that. Astrid thinks candles are romantic. (Looks away with a caught expression.)

Ming: That's not why I walked over here. (Jr.'s expression takes on a look of curiosity)

Jr.: Okay, ..show me what you've got then. (Ming slowly passes her paw through the tip of the flame and to Jr.'s amazement the flame trails after her paw and forms into a little ball of flame floating above her palm where it remains until Ming extinguishes it by closing her digits.) …COOL! You can manipulate FIRE!?

Ming: (sighs) No, …it wasn't real. (Jr. looks confused) I told you that there was always something new. (Awkward pause) I can…I can create illusions. The candle was never even lit. (Jr. looks back at the candle to see that not only is it out but also cold.)

Jr.: (chuckles with intent) Oh we could have some SERIOUS fun with that one. Your little trick puts my Loki hologram to shame.

Ming: (looks away) Pass, thanks anyway though. (Jr. Grumbles with disappointment) Can we talk about something else now?

Jr.: As you wish…(Pause) So why are the others out and about, like you said I thought you guys were supposed to be rehearsing for this year's Halloween gig? The zookeeper really seems to have changed the show around from what it usually is.

Ming: I thought so too but I guess they needed a break from Julian's choreography instruction to just ditch practice like that; he can be pretty over the top sometimes.

Jr.: You mean self-absorbed.

Ming: (Smirks) I was trying to be nice.

Jr.: …And nobody does nice like you, Ming.

Ming: What about you, …aren't you supposed to be working on something for the show too?

Jr.: I don't do choreography, I have two left feet. I'm working on the lightshow and any other technical aspects with my dad. That's the department where I really shine, …yours seems to be as Hannibal's counterpart in the show.

Ming: (Looks down and away for a moment) Yea, …I'm really nervous about that. I'm not used to being up front where everybody can see me, and I'm not thrilled about playing the lead bad guy. …What if I screw up?

Jr.: Just do your best no matter what happens and you'll be fine.

Ming: Why does it have to be ME in front though? I'm not the spotlight type and I have no idea how to be the bad guy; I might freeze up or something.

Jr.: You're up front because you deserve the part Ming, …and because you're the only other animal in this zoo who can parallel Hannibal in martial arts. …And since part of the act involves a staged fight between good and evil, you're the otter for the job. Other than that, the makeup and other cosmetic effects will be Elisa and Meg's responsibility. Don't worry, they'll make you guys look like awesome zombies…or whatever it is that you're supposed to look like.

Ming: (Looks away) I'm no parallel of Hannibal…

Jr.: …But for the sake of the show you're good ENOUGH. (Smiles) Stop worrying, …you'll be fine. (Begins to detach the wires from Ming's body) That should be enough for tonight; I have a lot of data to review.

Ming: Do you ever actually learn anything from these sessions?

Jr.: A lot actually, for example telekinetics appears to be the body's ability to amplify and project the brains own natural electromagnetic energy to accomplish an external task.

Ming: (Confused tone) Um….

Jr.: It means that the brain runs on electricity and yours generates and channels a LOT of it because you're able to use more of your brain than most people. From the readings I've been getting from our sessions I would wager better than ninety percent at least, I've read that the average human uses about ten percent and I'm sure that animals aren't too far from that either.

Ming: (Looks depressed for a moment) Doesn't your dad have an invention that would reverse that?

Jr.: Um, if by that you're referring to the degausser than no, that device just turns you into a brainless moron. Basically you become Mort, in your case that wouldn't diminish your abilities it would just make you stupid and dangerous.

Ming: Oh…(she gets up and prepares to leave the room)

Jr.: There's nothing wrong with being who you are, Ming.

Ming: (looks back from the door before leaving) There's nothing wrong with psychically hijacking Alice's body while she's asleep and going to the gym?

Jr.: I said there was nothing wrong with being who you were, hijacking somebodies body and driving them around like a car so you can get out without actually getting out once in a while is more about what you're doing than who you are. It's totally fascinating by the way but you should probably cut it out. (Pause) You um, …you've never done something like that to me have you? (Ming shakes her head)

Ming: Only Loki.

Jr.: (Thinks for a moment) Oh right, …when he was being held captive in Denmark with his siblings. (Pause) So you were really kissed by another girl while doing that huh?

Ming: (sighs) Goodnight Jr. (She leaves the room after which Jr. smirks and shakes his head lightly before going back to his work reviewing the recently collected data.)

(The scene changes to somewhere deep within Central Park as the penguins, after having run their vehicles through a series of maneuvers, have come to a stop by the lake to stretch and run diagnostics on their equipment. The girls have opted to wade into the water a bit under the moons silver glow.)

Syron: Hey Skipper, you should take a break for once in your life and come take a dip with us. The water has gotten nice and crisp since the summer ended.

Skipper: Some other time Syron, work doesn't get done by itself you know and we need to keep our gear wired in tip top condition. You never know when a crisis is going to rear its ugly head and require us to drive into harm's way. (Brief pause) How's the infrared sensory equipment coming Kowalski?

Kowalski: (Pops his head out through the turret mount on the roof) Honestly Skipper, I completed all of my diagnostics moments after we stopped. Everything came back in the green, and even more honestly Skipper I really could have managed this back at the HQ without a skip over the hills and through the woods. (Pause) Not to say that it wasn't fun, …I'm just saying…

Skipper: Yes?

Kowalski: Um…nothing, that was it. …I was just saying.

Skipper: Saying what man, spit it out already!

Erin: What my hubby is eloquently trying to say is that he feels guilty skipping out on practice with Ming. It doesn't exactly bolster the girl's confidence.

Skipper: (Scoffs) Ming will be fine; it's good to take a break once in a while. Besides, guilt hardly sounds like you Kowalski.

Syron: (under her breath) Hypocrite!

Kowalski: (looks frustrated) Yes I know Skipper; guilt is an emotion that is not quantifiable and therefore not logical. I'm only a penguin for God's sake, I'm not perfect! (Private exits one of the vehicles and waddles over to the water's edge to take a drink)

Private: I have to say Skipper; I think Kowalski may have a point for a change. (Kowalski snaps Private an insulted look) She's not exactly comfortable with things as they are; perhaps practicing with us bolsters her self-confidence.

Skipper: If I recall young Private, you were all FOR taking a break.

Private: (caught expression) Um yes well, I just meant that perhaps we could have included her on our little excursion.

Rico: (Grunts) She would never have come, she won't leave the zoo.

Private: There's a first time for everything you know. How can you say that you're her father if you won't even TRY?

Skipper: (Grumbles) Fine, the next time we'll offer her a ride with us even though we KNOW she'll decline. (Pause) …And just because I didn't bring her along doesn't mean that I don't care.

Private: No, ….but it doesn't exactly show it either. (Skipper is about to retort but instead sighs and lets the matter go)

Skipper: Alright ladies, your swim is over. We need to test the new armaments on our vehicles and we'd like to do it while we lack an audience.

Erin: What, you can't just pick a rock or a tree or a park bench to shoot at?

Meg: Actually it's a shame that it's NOT daytime, you could shoot at one of those mimes that everybody hates. (Pause as everyone looks at her) What? Rumor has it we'd be doing society a favor.

Rico: (grunts) She has a point you know.

Elisa: What's the point of shooting the water anyway? We're in the middle of a swim here.

Skipper: The point is ladies that we're an elite commando unit and stealth is our middle name. If we go shooting up the park then people are most definitely going to know that we were out here. Shooting the water doesn't leave any evidence, …now everybody out of the lake!

Syron: (sighs) Alright, everybody out, Skipper has to get his freak on. (The other girls grumble as they waddle out of the water.)

Skipper: It's about time, okay Rico saddle up for a weapons test. (Rico climbs back into one of the vehicles and mans the turret protruding through the roof. The original plasma pulse weapon designed by Jr. and modified by Kowalski has been replaced by a mini gun style weapon of the same type as the original.)

Private: (looks the weapon over) Skipper, …doesn't this seem like overkill? I mean really, the other weapons we had were more than enough to do the job when Kowalski stranded us in that alternate universe.

Kowalski: (Insulted tone) We were NOT stranded, I found us a way home which by very definition means that we were definitely not stranded. Although I'm sure Rico wishes that we had been after he told Heidi what he'd been up to over there. It DID get cold around here for a while.

Rico: (Grunts) HEY, …she believed me okay?

Skipper: (Mocking tone) Sure Rico, after we backed you up on the whole alternate existence thing. I mean honestly, what were you thinking sneaking an egg back here?

Rico: (grunts) The other Heidi wanted us to be a family here too since our Heidi can't have an egg with me. Besides, she was worried that instinct would force her to abandon the smaller egg. (Everybody shakes their heads) What, I told you that Heidi was okay with it. She even pulled egg duty!

Meg: She's a doctor, Rico. She's not going to turn her back on a helpless unhatched chick no matter WHERE it came from. Although I'll agree that she's forgiven you and accepted that you had good, albeit misplaced, intentions.

Kowalski: (rubs his temples) Penguins over there were humanoid, between five and six feet tall, and had the capacity to speak human Rico, that's going to be a little difficult to keep off the public radar once that kid reaches maturity. He's already taller than us so you're just lucky he's able to stay with Heidi at the zookeeper's place. With Margot and Hannibal's pup there also I imagine that it's getting a little crowded in that apartment.

Rico: (grunts) He's still my kid so we'll deal with it, okay? Now let's do this already.

Skipper: Have no fear people, there are plenty of apartments for the zookeeper to live in around this city, if need be we'll execute operation u-haul.

Meg: Um, …I might have missed a meeting somewhere. Which operation would that be again?

Syron: Skipper is saying in his own unique way that we would help the zookeeper find a bigger place and move if need be. You didn't miss any meetings.

Skipper: (Scoffs) She most certainly did, otherwise she would have known about operation u-haul.

Syron: There is no operation u-haul, Skipper. You made it up just now.

Skipper: That's insubordination! …And I did not just make it up; I'll have you know that particular operation was designed shortly after Rico's and Hannibal's kids arrived.

Syron: I'd have to be one of your subordinates for that to be insubordination, Skipper. …And if that were the case why was my crew excluded?

Skipper: …Because everybody knows moving is a man's thing.

Syron: Yea, …the actual moving part maybe. Putting everything back in just the right spots so the place looks lived in and not just a crash pad requires a ladies touch.

Elisa: (Puts a flipper to her forehead) Dios Mia, is it possible that we could save this argument for another day. Say like if the zookeeper ever decides that he actually wants to move?

Skipper: (Sighs loudly and rolls his eyes) Fine, …Kowalski make a note of that one for us. (Kowalski whips out a tablet from somewhere and begins to make a digital notation) Alright then let's get down to business. Rico, arm the weapon!

Rico: (hits a button and the weapon hums as it powers up) Ooh Rah! (Upon Skipper's cue Rico fires sending a barrage of blue plasma into the water turning it into a boiling turmoil, causing some water to boil into steam, and some of the bursts to be reflected up into the atmosphere as well as into the trees around them.)

Skipper: Cease fire! (Once Rico has stopped firing everyone gets up to look at some of the surrounding trees which have been splintered by the force of the weapons fire.)

Syron: Way to go Skipper, that was totally covert blasting clear water with an energy weapon. (Looks around at the damaged trees) NOBODY is going to notice this at all!

Skipper: Alright, alright, so the output was a little higher that I had anticipated. Kowalski I blame you for that one.

Kowalski: WHAT..? You said you were okay with that, "More is better" if I recall you saying correctly.

Skipper: Now, now, let's not focus on what I SAID let's focus on what I'm saying now. …And I'm saying let's turn down the power on the next weapons test.

Syron: (Looks around at the trees) …And what do we do about the damage?

Skipper: No problem we'll adapt and work around it just like we always do when things go south with Kowalski's inventions, Rico break out some spray paint and do a little artwork on the park benches. The human authorities will blame the whole thing on teenagers with nothing better to do. (Upon exiting the vehicle Rico hacks up multiple cans of spray paint and waddles off to express himself) Ladies, get the rest of your swim in while you can. This shouldn't take Rico too long.

Erin: Is it safe to go in the water again? I mean that weapon isn't radioactive or something is it?

Kowalski: (scoffs) Of COURSE not, nuclear technology is far too primitive to be used in a portable device. (The girls start to dip their feet) Although I should point out that the heat energy produced by the blasts may have morphed some of the lake bed sand into dangerously sharp shards of glass. So be careful. (The girls all turn to look at Kowalski) I'm just saying… (The girls grumble and back out of the water. Overhead a small multi-colored ball of fire streaks through the sky towards the horizon)

Meg: (looking up at the sky) Ooh, a shooting star!

Elisa: Aye caramba, you guys didn't accidentally shoot down a satellite with one of those ricocheting blasts did you?

Private: Actually with our luck it would probably be the space shuttle.

Erin: I don't think that they use that thing anymore.

Private: (sighs) The space station then.

Kowalski: (nonchalant) I guess we won't know until the morning when we hear about it on the news. So there's no use worrying about it until then now is there.

Elisa" (pats Private on the shoulder in reassurance) Eh, I wouldn't worry. They can always build another one; humans are always looking for money to throw away. (Rico reports back and offers up a salute.)

Skipper; All set Rico? (Rico nods) Excelante`, alright people let's pack it up for the night. (Everybody begins to pile back into the Humvees before heading back to the zoo. The scene changes to inside of Marlene's cave an hour later where Yoshi is busy helping her mother tidy the place up.)

Marlene: (As Yoshi comes out from the underground tunnel leading to the penguin habitat.) Were you able to get rid of some of those cobwebs?

Yoshi: Yea, …although some of those webs were still lived in. I don't think the spiders were too happy about having to rebuild their homes.

Marlene: They'll have to get used to it. I can't stand having cobwebs in this place; I don't know why we get so many of them in the fall.

Yoshi: They're fall spiders mom, those itty bitty yellow or green ones. They're everywhere this time of year. (Marlene gives a look of disgust)

Marlene: Well whatever, do you know where your brothers are? They should be helping with fall housecleaning.

Yoshi: You know them mom; they disappear at the first mention of housework. Hannibal at least is predictable, …I'd bet money he's up in that carousel on top of the zoo wall either practicing or working out. Loki on the other hand…could be anywhere. He put that hologram generator that Jr. invented in his bed last week to make me think that he was fast asleep when he was really out with Hannibal sneaking snow cones from a street vendor.

Marlene: (Laughs lightly) He got me with that one too. (Pause) Go see if you can find them please.

Yoshi: Will do… (Yoshi pads outside of the habitat and vaults over the top of the habitat fence onto the sidewalk before heading off into the zoo jokingly calling "marko" after the first few steps. After finding Hannibal right where she expected to find him and passing on the message she heads out into the zoo again to find Loki, before long she pauses by the fountain to look at her reflection for a moment. Before long she begins noting her figure.) You know I bet I could have the guys lined up if I could get out of this zoo and actually find some. Maybe I should follow Hannibal's example and go on some expedition across the country, he sure found somebody easy enough that way. (While still noting her appearance in the reflection she begins to notice a growing green hue in the reflection.) What the heck is THAT? (She turns to notice a floating golf ball sized green orb that has descended into the zoo from an unknown location and is moving about systematically as if looking for something. Yoshi begins to walk away from the fountain to seek out the penguins thinking that maybe this was one of Kowalski's experiments again. When she does the orb stops, zips over and hovers just in front of her chest where her heart would be, after a few seconds the orb hits Yoshi and disappears within her.) Oh please don't let this be a space squid pod or something; I don't want to be a host. (She starts into a jog towards the penguin habitat but only makes it a matter of steps before being enveloped by a field of green energy and being whisked away into the sky towards the horizon while tumbling end over end within the field. Eventually she comes to an abrupt stop on a marshy beach somewhere where the field disappears and drops her onto the sand. She rises to her feet and after wading into the water to clean the motion sickness from her fur she notices that less than twenty yards away there is a small very unfamiliar craft that evidenced by the surrounding debris field and impact scarring in the earth has crashed. Cautiously she walks up to and around the craft finding the front to be a broken transparent non-glass material revealing a single person inside. The humanoid being inside has a purple almost translucent skin and wears a glowing green uniform with a single emblem on the chest.) Whoa, …what ARE you? (The being takes a deep breath and raises his head to look at her.) Are you okay?

Being: (Rubs his temples that such a stupid question could be asked under the circumstances) (amazingly speaking otter) No, …I haven't much time.

Yoshi: (Astonished) You speak my language!?

Being: (Looks at his ring) Billions of inhabitants on this planet and THIS is who you choose? (Struggling to breath) Stupid space age piece of… (Pause to try to catch his breath)

Yoshi: What happened to you, how did you get here?

Being: (Struggling) …Should have put more than five units in the last time I refueled. (Long pause) My name is Aben Sur, …I'm dying, …the ring chose you. (Removes the ring from his finger) Take it! (Drops the ring into Yoshi's paw and then coughs up purple blood)

Yoshi: Um, I don't suppose this is this some kind of great honor and responsibility…?

Aben Sur: (shrugs as he struggles to breath) It's a job, …long hours…the pay sucks…travel is good though… and the spouse can't find you for alimony so that's a plus…

Yoshi: (bemused) Okay then…

Aben Sur: Place the ring into the lantern…(Struggling) Speak the oath…the guardians will send for you… (Starts to fade from consciousness)

Yoshi: Wait, try to stay awake! I can try to get you some help. What can I do to help you?

Aben Sur: (Coughs up blood and places two fingers to his lips) Could I bum one for the road?

Yoshi: (looks confused for a moment and then remembers some humans she'd seen in the zoo) I uh, ….sorry I don't use those.

Aben Sur: (Quickly fading) …Mudhole …planet. (His head droops leaving his eyes only partially open as life leaves him. A moment later the glowing green uniform fades away leaving him appearing naked.)

Yoshi: (Shakes her head) Great, I've inherited a gaudy piece of jewelry and some sort of job from a dying purple alien. (Pause) …And WHAT lantern…? (She looks around briefly and finds a green crystal like lantern positioned off to Aben Sur's side.) Oh great, how am I supposed to lug this thing home? It's about as big as I am, …and where the heck am I? I was somersaulting inside that green bubble so long I must have hurled three times. (Looks at her fur) Ugh…(she places the ring on one of her digits as she wades back into the water to clean herself up further. To her surprise the ring adjusts in size to fit.) Cool…! (After climbing back out of the water she drags the lantern out of the spacecraft onto the beach and begins to study it.) I imagine it would have been a little too convenient for that guy to tell me what this oath actual is. (Pause) Okay,…put the ring in the lamp. (looks the lamp over) No holes anywhere…(She points the ring at the lamp after which nothing happens) I wonder if this thing has a recovery feature like when you forget your computer password? (Sighs as she stares at the lamp) I wonder what this thing is made of. (She taps the lamp with one of her digits causing a very dense crystal sound, she then raps on it with her knuckles during which the ring taps the lamp. Without warning Yoshi is knocked backward a few yards by an unseen force and after Yoshi clears her head can see that the lamp is glowing brightly. Without any thought, Yoshi's eyes take on a green hue and she begins to speak.) …In brightest day…in blackest night…no evil shall escape my sight, …let those who worship evil's might…beware my power…green lantern's light. (The lamp glows brighter for a moment and then goes dark. Yoshi shakes her head to clear it and then gets up unsure of what has just transpired, and then starts to figure out how to get home from where she is.)

Chapter 2 coming soon….

Green Lantern and all related characters and objects remain the property of DC comics. This was included in the fan fiction in the interest of plot enrichment and simple creativity, no money is being made in any way.

Comments and suggestions are always welcome.


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: Penguins of Madagascar and all original storyline characters are the property of Nickelodeon and the respective creative talents of the show. The creation of this fan fiction is for enjoyment purposes only and no money is being made. All characters of my own creation remain my property and may not be copied or used without permission.

Once More unto the Breech

Chapter 2

By

Wildgoose

(It is early in the morning within Steve's apartment; he has awoken maybe an hour before and has been preparing for a meeting with department heads of Antarctic command. He is dressed in Marine Corps uniform as he tends to a few odds and ends with Kitsune before leaving.)

Steve: (Weaving about the sleeping bodies of animals on the living room floor) This place just seems to get smaller and smaller every time I come through here, I swear Kitsune.

Kitsune: (makes a quirky expression with her head and then sighs loudly) (Gestures) We'll need to find a bigger place before long. The kids are getting too big to be sleeping in our room with us.

Steve: Keiko is getting too big you mean, …Tatsu hasn't grown out of her crib yet.

Kitsune: (gestures) It won't be long, she's already trying to get her leg over the top of the railing. She'll need a toddler bed soon enough. (Steve sighs and nods. Kitsune then points to the young penguin dressed in transformers® pajamas with footies sleeping on the couch.) He's already started speaking, how big is he going to get again?

Steve: Back where he's from his kind ranged between five and six feet, considering that Rico is his dad however you might be able to shave that down a little. (Shakes his head) Life just loves to keep throwing me curve balls.

Kitsune: (gestures) Sooner or later you're going to have to start hitting them back you know. (Steve smiles and then offers a kiss on the cheek; Kitsune reciprocates with a light bow) Sometime you'll have to take the rest of us to see the capitol; I've only ever seen Philadelphia, New York, and Honolulu in this country.

Steve: Yea well, if the government ever decides to figure out their mess of a checkbook open back up for business then we might just do that. Until then I think the national monuments are all closed. (Shakes his head) None of it makes any sense; they never stick to their budget anyway so say nothing about paying attention to it. (Kitsune shrugs as Steve heads out for a long drive to Washington D.C.)

(The scene changes to outside of the zoo walls around about the same time in the morning. A NY city bus pulls up alongside of the curb adjacent to the zoo to pick up passengers on their way to work and to drop off some of the daytime zoo employees who are just arriving to get started for the day. While passengers are being exchanged an access door pops open just before the rear wheel well revealing a very tired and dirty Yoshi who hops out while lugging a crystalesque looking lamp, then as discretely as possible makes her way across the street to the zoo when the coast is clear using a "borrowed" skateboard to make carrying the lamp easier. Within a minute or so she has succeeded in disappearing into the zoo unnoticed. A short time later Astrid happens upon Yoshi wheeling her item to Jr.'s lab via the underground tunnel connecting the otter and penguin habitats.)

Astrid: Whoa! What happened to you, did you take a mud bath or something? (Comes closer and sniffs) Eww, ..you smell like something Rico coughed up!

Yoshi: (Fatigued tone) It's been a long night Astrid, where's your boyfriend? I need to ask some questions.

Astrid: Shhh! You know my dad doesn't know about us yet.

Yoshi: He's my dad too you know, …and I wouldn't bet on that. I think my mom told him and she's making him keep his mouth shut and watch from a distance to see how things go.

Astrid: (Concerned) Are you sure?

Yoshi: No, ..but it would make sense. Dad has his funky quirks but he's not stupid. (Sighs) Anyway…

Astrid: Right, …he's in his quarters. (Pause as she gestures to the lamp) What's this thing supposed to be?

Yoshi: That would be what I need Jr. to tell me. (Looks Astrid up and down, then reaches over to smooth out some ruffled feathers with her paw) You know you guys should take it easy before you pop out an egg or something. (Astrid flusters and begins to check her feathers as Yoshi walks past)

Astrid: Nice skateboard by the way, can I try it sometime? (Yoshi gestures with a paw wave as she continues walking. Before long Yoshi arrives In Jr.'s lab to see him reviewing data that he'd obtained from Ming. She gives the skateboard a light shove with her foot so that it rolls gently until it bumps the back of Jr.'s chair getting his attention.)

Jr.: (Surprised) What the…!? (Turns to see Yoshi) Oh hey, …I wasn't expecting you. (He minimizes the screen on the laptop he was using.)

Yoshi: Yea, ..it's one of the perks of just dropping by. (Pause as she looks at Jr.'s laptop) Cool toy, where did you pilfer THAT thing from?

Jr.: Oh this? (Pause) I didn't actually, ..the zookeeper got it for me to help me out with my schoolwork. That way I don't have to keep sneaking into the main office to use theirs and he set up a Wi-Fi router for me too.

Yoshi: Is it working? (Jr. nods) Good, see if you can find out what this thing is for me. (Pats the lamp)

Jr.: (Smirks/scoffs) Where did THIS piece of junk come from, have you been moonlighting at yard sales or something?

Yoshi: (tired expression) I inherited it from a dying purple alien guy, …I think it was a guy anyway.

Jr.: (Scoffs) Seriously though…

Yoshi: (Annoyed) Yes, …seriously. (Jr. continues to look at Yoshi in disbelief and they exchange a variety of facial expressions over the next minute or so before Jr.'s smirk fades away.)

Jr.: You're not kidding are you? (Yoshi shakes her head with fatigue) Did you take pictures for God's sake!? What did it look like, …was it one of those space squid that Skipper's always babbling about?

Yoshi: Sorry, …between the time I was whisked away in a tumbling ball of green energy to the three times I barfed on myself before meeting this guy, it somehow escaped me to stop and pick up a camera somewhere. It looked human but it had purple skin, purple blood, a glowing green uniform, (gestures to the ring on her digit) this gaudy piece of jewelry and a funky antique lamp that glowed and made me take some sort of oath.

Jr.: Oath?

Yoshi: Yea, apparently I've been chosen to inherit some kind of job. So the alien said anyway,…you know right before he up and croaked.

Jr.: (excited) Can we go and see it, …I want to see the alien!

Yoshi: I just traveled through the night moving from bus to bus to get back here okay, …I'm tired, smell like puke, apparently I smelled bad enough at the time to get hit on by a skunk while walking to the nearest bus station out in east bumble somewhere ( pause) I think he said his name was Pepi le Pew, and it's been a chore and a half trying to bring this big thing (gestures to the lamp) back here with me because it was this alien's dying request that I keep it.

Jr.: So this alien just happened to speak animal, how does THAT work?

Yoshi: How the heck should I know!? Could you please just see what you can find out about this thing? I'm going to go get cleaned up and grab some sleep, wake me if you find out something. (She starts to leave the room)

Jr.: (Excited tone) YOSHI!

Yoshi: (turns) What?

Jr.: It's green. (Yoshi frowns) Hey, you told me to let you know when I found out something. (Yoshi grumbles as she turns and leaves the room) Hey when you just drop a project on me like this you've got to expect a little payback. (Sighs as he gets up and starts getting some equipment together as he begins to talk to himself.) Inheriting a job, that's a new one. I can only imagine what that would be like during the reading of a will, …and to so and so I bequeath my job. I spent my entire life hating it and now it's your problem. Have fun with it. (Pretends to be the inheritor as he shakes his flipper at the ceiling) Curse you, you sadistic old b*****d! (Jr. chuckles to himself as he works)

(The scene changes to the theater room on the lowest level of the penguin HQ, Ming is practicing her techniques with a pair of tessen in isolation so that she will not feel self-conscious about her form. The hinges on the door creak slightly as Hannibal poked his head through.)

Hannibal: You're missing breakfast, what are you doing down here?

Ming: (stops to look at Hannibal) Thinking, …working on my techniques always helps.

Hannibal: So what's on your mind little sis?

Ming: My place.

Hannibal: (slightly amused) You're place?

Ming: Yea …you know, in the universe, in the world, in life, that sort of thing. (Pause) I'm just wondering what my role in everything is supposed to be. I'm having a hard time trying to figure out where exactly I'm supposed to fit in, …what my purpose is supposed to be.

Hannibal: Suddenly you're so worried, …why?

Ming: Everybody here seems to have a place for themselves. Jr. is going to school online, he's got bachelor's degrees already in physics and applied technology from some place called MIT, mom and dad are married and it's a question of time before Jr. and Astrid pair off. Yoshi's got talent for leadership; I'd be willing to bet she's got a future doing something somewhere and YOU. The zookeeper said that before Kowalski's device malfunctioned and sent he and dad's team to wherever it was,… Margot had been dead for a year but here the two of you are now healthy, happy, and you've got a pup.

Hannibal: (grumbles) Yea, I don't like to dwell on that first part very much. If he hadn't had the memory on his phone loaded with pictures from that other place I don't think I ever would have believed it. I couldn't believe how different she looked; the fact that Margot's alternate was a cop was pretty interesting though.

Ming: Anyway, my point is that even you have a role somewhere. Lately though instead of the warrior you seem to be more of a commuting parent.

Hannibal: (smirks) I see my family any way I can Ming. (Pause) You didn't mention Loki, …probably because he doesn't have much of a direction in life. He just thinks everything is fun and games.

Ming: (sighs) I don't think so, like you I think he's waiting for that one thing to define his role.

Hannibal: (Scoffs) What makes you think THAT, …can you tell the future or something?

Ming: (sighs) No, …that's a talent I definitely do not have. It's just a feeling I get from him, I think his lot in life lies away from humanity somewhere.

Hannibal: (bursts out laughing) Loki wouldn't last two seconds outside of the zoo on his own much less in the wild. (Laughs a little bit more until he's had his fill) So anyway,… getting back to you. (Ming shrugs) Well tell you what, I'll work with you for a bit while you clear your head but then we're going to get some breakfast. I don't know about you but I'm hungry. (Hannibal moves into position and readies himself by taking a stance; Ming studies him for a moment before conceding by stowing her tessen away on her person somewhere and then taking a stance herself. After a moment Hannibal initiates with a few simple punches and a high round kick all of which Ming is able to block with relative ease but does not counter. Instead she waits for his next move.) Are you going to counter or what?

Ming: Do I have to?

Hannibal: Well, that's kind of how this works Ming. (Pause) This isn't a test; just give me what you've got. You said you've been thinking, I know this always helps me to clear MY head.

Ming: Can I ask you a question?

Hannibal: (sighs with an eye roll) Alright, …but you have to counter first. Just one shot then you can talk, …whatever your best is then hit me with it.

Ming: (reluctant) Okay, …but don't judge me I'm still working on this with Mrs. Kitsune. (Pause as Ming bows her head and clasps her paws in front of her chest as if in prayer.)

Hannibal: Um…I thought you were going to counter not meditate. (Ming doesn't respond but instead opens her eyes quickly and snaps into what appears to be a set of tightly controlled tie chi maneuvers as if she's summoning her energies then jumps to a very peculiar stance as if ready to pounce. From Hannibal's point of view Ming appears to slide across the floor so fast that he sees mirror images of her trailing behind just before he is struck with a high side kick to the chest which sends him through the air into the wall behind him ten feet away. Hannibal lay dazed on the floor for a moment before groaning as he climbed to his feet with unsure balance.) What…the…heck..was..THAT!

Ming: (apologetic tone) Shadow kick, …I didn't hurt you did I?

Hannibal: Just my pride, I'll live. (Surprise) Sensei never taught me that one.

Ming: She says that every student should learn a skill set unique to their own talents and disposition. Apparently my talents are unique from yours.

Hannibal: I guess SO; you actually got through my defenses. So if you can do something like that, then what's with the defensive stuff all the time?

Ming: I'm not a fighter like you. (Pause) So can I ask my question now?

Hannibal: You've certainly earned it, proceed.

Ming: Do you believe in life on other worlds?

Hannibal: (surprised at the subject) Uh, …well I believe in life after death. Is that what you were getting at or were you hinting at those alien space squid that dad is always ranting about?

Ming: Not space squid, …something else. (Pause as she tries to choose her words carefully) Have you ever …had a dream… where it was if you were looking through the eyes of someone else, feeling what they felt, hearing what they said…

Hannibal: (bemused) No, …I can't say that I've had that one. Have you?

Ming; Sort of, …that's why I was wondering about everybody else. In this…dream, Yoshi was going to do something important. …And it made me wonder what was in store for the rest of us.

Hannibal: (smirks trying not to laugh) …And there was an alien involved?

Ming: (Cautious) Yea, …what would you make of that?

Hannibal: I would say…that whatever you've been eating before you go to bed at night you should probably cut it out. I think you just had a weird dream, nothing more.

Ming: (disappointed) Oh…

Hannibal: Don't feel bad; weird things happen to ALL of us.

Ming: You too huh?

Hannibal: Me? Oh, …well no …but I'm still young. Don't worry, someday I might do something worth laughing about.

Ming: (frowns a little) Mr. perfect so far huh? You look proud of it.

Hannibal: (smirks in jest) You know me, I don't like to toot my own horn. (Pause) Now let's go get some breakfast. (Hannibal turns to walk towards the open door and a loud thunk is heard as he tries to walk through it followed by Hannibal landing on his back and clutching his face.) What the HECK! (He pulls his paws away from his face to see that he had just walked into a solid wall and the door was actually ten feet to his left.)

Ming: (As Hannibal gets up trying to hold onto his pride.) Don't worry Hannibal, weird things happen to us all remember?

Hannibal: (Rubs his nose a little more) Yea, yea, …you act like you planned that or something. Let's just go get breakfast, I'm hungry.

Ming: (Smirks after Hannibal leaves) Or something, just be glad I've figured out how to do something other than fire. (She walks out of the room to follow Hannibal)

(The scene changes to Washington D.C inside of the pentagon later in the day, after passing through all of the security checkpoints Steve is being escorted by a M.A to a conference room where he is supposed to meet with some department heads in Antarctic Command. Once inside the room is found to be vacant with exception to a conference table and a number of chairs around it. Steve is instructed to have a seat before the M.A. withdraws from the room. A short time later a knock is heard at the door just before it opens to reveal Tom and an unfamiliar Brigadier General. As the two enter the Room Steve stands and offers the traditional salute before all have a seat at the table. Once seated the other two officers begins to remove a number of files from brief cases placing the files on the table.)

Tom: Captain Rothermal, first off congratulations on your promotion two months ago. The last time we spoke you were still a lieutenant.

Steve: It was a surprise to be sure Major, I wasn't expecting it.

Tom: (gestures to the general) This is brigadier general Faust, he would like to review some of your latest mission reports with you.

Steve: (Surprised) This is a first, nobody's ever seen a need to review my reports with me. I always make it a point to include every detail I can in those things.

Gen. Faust: To be specific Capt. Rothermal, I would only like to review one report with you. That being your most recent (opens a file) in which you reported that you and your penguin unit were transported to a parallel earth as a result of an experimental prototype device that malfunctioned.

Steve: (Leans back in his chair and groans as he looks up at the sealing.) Oh God, can't anybody just pretend that whole ordeal never happened?

Tom: Unfortunately we're going to have to disappoint you; the general would like more detailed information from you.

Gen. Faust: (Clears his throat) From what I've read in the report let me just sum up, this device took you to a parallel earth where humans didn't exist and animal kind had evolved to fill humanity's roll. What would have been North and South America as well as Antarctica there called the United Provinces of Antarctica was occupied by giant penguins of varying types as well as smaller groups of animal immigrants from elsewhere in the world. Your group was captured and detained by law enforcement, you attempted escape allowing yourself to be stunned unconscious so that the penguins could get away. While unconscious you were taken to a medical facility to be studied because human kind had never been seen before where you were found to be immune to a virus that had sterilized the male population of not only penguins but also otters so they stole tissue, blood, and genetic samples from you for further analysis. You later escaped and were sheltered by an otter detective who had earlier tried to question you; she was later interpreted to be an alternate reality version of an otter in this world by the name of Margot. At the same time your unit sought refuge with a giant penguin operating an electronics outlet later interpreted to be an alternate of a Puffin in this world named Heidi. While attempting to get your bearings it was discovered that a Dolphin evil genius by the name of Dr. Blowhole had somehow appeared in this same alternate earth as early as a year to a year and a half before you and your unit and established himself as the head of state after which you and your unit removed him by force. How have I done so far?

Steve: You've clearly read the report, what more could you possibly need?

Gen. Faust: You mentioned in the report that the society there was largely without crime of any sort yet there was clearly a criminal element working with Dr. Blowhole that allowed him to gain power.

Steve: Yes sir, the criminal element by their standards did exist but it remained almost exclusively in the shadows keeping them off the public radar. For the most part it was composed of the average teenager who simply wanted to listen to music of their choice without seeking government sanction and gather socially as they saw fit while listening to it. These gatherings took place in secret venues known only to the teens and the location changed every time. Musical forms had to be sanctioned by the government in order to be distributed to the public. On the other side of that there was a deeper segment of that element that referred to themselves as the underground. They were like the kids but more willing to go to lengths to promote a change in their favor once Blowhole came to town. He instructed these people on how to assassinate Chancellor Andre and make it look like natural causes. Such a thing was unheard of in that society so nobody investigated beyond the obvious when an autopsy was performed. Blowhole wiggled his way into becoming Andre's successor and brought some of the darkest members of the underground into his fold as secret service members. (The general is seen making notations on the report and when finished looks up at Steve)

Gen. Faust: You mentioned in the report that these secret service members you mentioned previously attempted to turn you, this detective Margot, and a penguin physician/geneticist named Dr. Yoshi against each other. How and why? (Steve says nothing for a moment) Captain?

Steve: (looks uncomfortable) With all due respect general, I would really, really,…really,….REALLY prefer not to discuss that at all…ever.

Gen. Faust: I thought that might be the case since you only described the outcome of their attempt as being unsuccessful but highly personal. I'm afraid I'm going to need the details before this file can be closed out. (Steve doesn't answer for a moment) That's an order Captain.

Steve: (reluctant) Yes sir, Det. Margot, myself, and Dr. Yoshi were working on finding a link between Blowhole and the virus that had sterilized the male population of otters and penguins since it fit his M.O in this world of wanting to destroy my unit and their aids most of all before seeking revenge on humanity. Blowhole learned of this and gave instructions to two of his closest cohorts in the secret service, by the names of Schicklegruber and Merlin, to stop us using creative means so as not to raise questions by others, I.E. without killing us. They discovered that Det. Margot embarked the day before on a once a year drinking binge in the interest of forgetting her husband who left her, it was off duty but the next day we borrowed her car to go to the capitol to try and confront Blowhole hoping he would make a mistake and start an evil villain monologue about his plans. Det. Margot was sober at the time we arrived albeit hung over; she accompanied us in protest because it was against department protocol for anyone to be in her police vehicle without her. She was following the rules there but when we left to gain entry to the Chancellors mansion, I by legitimate means and my unit by covert, she was directed to keep the car running in case we needed a rapid egress. She complied under protest that it was illegal for her to do so, apparently being hung over with keys in the ignition was the same there as a DWI. She was discovered and arrested, then later suspended with intent to dismiss leaving her in shame because like everything else so far such a crime was almost unheard of. Later the two agents confronted Dr. Yoshi in her lab after hours and forced her to lure Det. Margot there after which she was subdued by the agents and again was forced to use the genetic sample stolen from myself against her after which she was deposited in her home with no idea what had happened until Dr. Yoshi tried to explain through tears. In justifiable anger Det. Margot turned against Dr. Yoshi and given that the material used against her was from me she lashed out at me also in anger and evicted me from her home where I had been sheltered. Now no one was working against Blowhole and the research that Dr. Yoshi had conducted thus far was destroyed by the agents. Det. Margot couldn't go to the police even though she'd gone to see her PCP, whatever means Dr. Yoshi was made to use left no physical trace of violation. The Dr. being familiar with Det. Margot for years knew that the date for her annual binge had recently passed and suggested that she likely simply didn't remember an encounter she had that night. Being in shame from her dept. she knew she would get a similar response from them if she sought help. Dr. Yoshi could not go to the authorities given that that society was so peaceful there was no need for security surveillance on anything so she would only be incriminating herself without evidence to prove that she had been forced. Myself I was now without shelter, or transportation, and having very limited funds on hand. Nobody knew me and thus I had no credibility to make accusations of a horrid and unheard of nature.

Gen: Faust: Excuse me; I thought you said that the agent's did NOT succeed.

Steve: In the long run they didn't, one of the agents by the name of Merlin turned coat as a result of where the other agent was attempting to do afterward. He made a signed confession to Det. Margot exonerating Dr. Yoshi which later brought an apology towards me as I was as victimized as she was. Fortunately after we were reconciled Dr. Yoshi was able to recall where she'd left off in her work and was able to discover the link we were looking for. The sterility virus was a genetically modified version of the Mumps virus which piggybacked with Blowhole and was later used as a means to attempt the eradication of the penguin and otter species.

Gen. Faust: How was the penguin doctor forced?

Steve: Her aging and sickly father was abducted and Dr. Yoshi was made aware that if she did not comply her father would be left in the northern polar wastelands to die.

Tom: But if he was a penguin…

Steve: Through evolution penguins were no longer used to the cold. Penguin kind had migrated north over thousands of years and Antarctica had been converted into warm rich farmlands through technological means centuries before we has arrived there.

Gen Faust: …And here comes the uncomfortable part, how was the material stolen from you used against the detective?

Steve: (sighs) Dr. Yoshi was forced to genetically engineer it making it compatible with the otter species of that world. Don't ask me for specifics I only found out later that it had something to do with making my genome entirely recessive to hers. This had the additional effect of not only turning us against one another but humiliating Det. Margot because without proof of crimes committed against her it was illegal to terminate. (Both the General and Tom stare at Steve blankly for a moment)

Gen Faust: So…you have a…

Steve: (stern) No… I don't! (Pause) We didn't have to remove Blowhole because he himself was assassinated by Schicklegrueber who electrocuted Blowhole in his own swimming pool and made it look like equipment malfunction, then tried to assume the role of chancellor himself. He tried to take Blowhole's plans a step further by planning to allow only those who subscribed to his physical and mental ideals to procreate through genetic recombination which would bypass the virus.

Gen Faust: Test tube babies?

Steve: Yes sir, we managed to distribute all of our accumulated evidence to the media before moving on him so that it could be understood who was attempting to usurp the office. We then removed him.

Gem Faust: (looks at the report) Yes, …by shooting him on live television while he was addressing the nation about Blowhole's passing.

Steve: We couldn't afford to allow him the opportunity to deceive the public any further.

Gen. Faust: You then seated yourself as Chancellor. In hindsight don't you find that just a little disturbing?

Steve: I assure you it was not my first choice and in my defense sir, they had no second in command or any clue who was qualified to succeed. The structure of their government was a joke and a power vacuum needed to be avoided to prevent chaos. While still on live broadcast I sought the approval of those in the office, staff and secret service alike and asked them to represent the people as best they could. I made my intentions clear that I would only sit in office for seven days and that by noon on the eighth day if I had not vacated then they were authorized to remove me by any means necessary. After which an appointed successor would serve temporary duty for four years to allow modifications to be made to the government to transition to a properly structured democracy whereby elections would be held to select the next chancellor. After a vote amongst those representatives I assumed the temporary role.

Tom: Do you always keep a digital copy of the US constitution in your phone?

Steve: It serves as a reminder of what I'm putting my life on the line for day in and day out. (Pause) Anyway, after the week was up Det. Margot was appointed as the next interim chancellor. We left for home, the end.

Tom: Not quite, there's documented proof that this Det. Margot came to our world for a short time. (He reaches over and pulls out a newspaper clipping with a picture showing Steve and Det. Margot standing amidst two NY police officers.)

Steve: (looks down for a moment) Ah… (Pause) Before we took down Schicklegreuber, we were going to come back here to get equipment and maybe reinforcements. Schicklegreuber somehow found out about this and because Blowhole had mentioned to him before that us leaving would be bad "because humans don't go away, they bring back more", he abducted Det. Margot's daughter Sarah and threatened to do the same thing that had been done to Dr. Yoshi's father if Margot didn't stop us. So she pursued us as we were departing and was pulled into our world with us but through miscalculation we had arrived a year in the past. Not understanding why she'd turned on us all of a sudden we fled a short distance during which time Det. Margot encountered her alternate as she got out of my truck and dodged across the street to the zoo to visit Hannibal despite my instructions not to cross without me. The me from the past that is.

Tom: Oh of course…

Steve: Margot in her eagerness to visit Hannibal neglected to look before crossing and was about to be plowed by a taxi. I imagine she acted on instinct because Det. Margot redirected from her pursuit and raced across the street grabbing Margot out of the way very narrowly in the nick of time and then after scolding a confused otter she continued her pursuit until the next block where she'd lost us. Once she came to a stop people began to notice her along with a pair of patrolmen who began to question her appearance. Having a conscience I didn't want the same thing that happened to me repeat itself so I alone came out of the shadows where I was hiding and approached the group with a ruse that she was actually my sister who suffered from a rare genetic disorder called Hypertrichosis. (Both the General and Tom look confused for a moment) It's also been termed as werewolf syndrome; it causes massively excessive hair growth all over the body giving an animal like appearance.

Gen. Faust: …And the people believed that?

Steve: I spun a big guilt trip on them about how much therapy she'd gone through just to get her to feel comfortable with coming out in public and how badly they were setting her back. The officers gave us a hard time at first but once one of them looked it up people began to accept it.

Tom: Didn't she have a tail being an otter and all?

Steve: By coincidence she happened to have it tucked under her dress around her leg, I'm thinking it was probably a nervous thing like somebody biting their nails or something. Some people actually congratulated Det. Margot for having the courage to overcome her "disorder". A couple treated us to lunch after which we managed to figure out why my unit and I were being chased. I have to admit that all things considered she played along extraordinarily well. Kowalski was later able to make the appropriate corrections to his device, we got what we needed and returned to the other earth to take care of business.

Gen Faust: (Flips through the report a little) This would be where you account for the loss of equipment I hope.

Steve: Long story short, we sought out an ally we'd made when we confronted Blowhole before and used the desires for unrestricted music by the youth culture as a distraction.

Gen Faust: Ally? (Flips through the report and the pictures that had been printed from digital memory regarding each person that had been encountered.) That would be, …Minister Amaterasu of the Far East Confederacy. (Pause) She's a fox.

Steve: Um…well to be honest although they were all very humanoid I'm not used to looking at animals like that so I couldn't say. (The general stares at Steve for a moment and turns the picture to face him) Oh you mean the species…. (The general rolls his eyes)

Gen Faust: You were saying?

Steve: Margot's daughter had told me about the location of the next musical gathering so we used that to spread word about a form of protest to be held across from the chancellor's mansion which we called the freedom of expression festival. That's where Amaterasu came in, she sponsored the event for us, had her people stand watch for when the authorities showed up and gave instructions that if they tried to cross their lines the confederates where to embrace their instincts and "eat them".

Tom: You held a concert as a distraction?

Steve: Being across from the mansion it drew off some of the security forces making it easier for us to get in.

Tom: So how were the mini Humvee's destroyed?

Steve: Blowhole had originally anticipated the penguins coming after him so he erected a gauntlet of booby traps within the mansion. Schicklegeuber activated them at the first sign of trouble so the only way to circumvent them was to drive through the walls one after the other until we drove into the triangle office. (Both officers are about to ask) Hey, we've got an oval they have a triangle. It's not that big a deal, the rest I've already told you. (Pause) Any more questions?

Tom: How do you know you don't… (He is cut off)

Steve: While in office I made sure that Agent Merlin's confession was presented as evidence so that the appropriate medical intervention could be made. Det. Margot was relieved to say the least.

Tom: …But you don't know for a fact if she went through with it.

Steve: Given the circumstances I can't imagine why she wouldn't.

Tom: I'm just saying…

Gen Faust: (Makes a number of notations within the file and then closes it) Regardless, …I think that's the last of my questions. The file is completed, …and closed. (He looks over at Tom)

Tom: (Clears his throat) Okay then, …on to the next order of business.

Steve: (glances back and forth between them) Okay the spidey sense is tingling, …what's the next order of business?

Gen. Faust: The department of defense has decided that Antarctic command has fulfilled its purpose in neutralizing animal threats to America's interests and in light of budgetary difficulties is dissolving the command and reassigning the personnel. (Steve's jaw drops)

Steve: Sir?! (Pause in disbelief) What about the animals?!

Tom: They will be returned to civilian life and be remanded to the care of their zoological institutions.

Steve: Not all of the animals reside in zoo's sir!

Tom: Blue squadron will be remanded to the care of sea world in Florida until arrangements can be made to return them to Australia to be with their own kind. Since that's where they were found it seems only right to send them home to be with their own kind.

Steve: No that's not right, they've evolved since then! They're a team now and they like it that way.

Gen. Faust: The decision came from above me I'm afraid so my hands are tied on the matter.

Steve: (slumps back into his chair) May I ask what my next assignment will be?

Gen Faust: You're aware you underwent your annual evaluations a few months ago? (Steve nods) It's been deemed that given your medical and psychological history it would not be in anyone's best interest to place you in a conventional field position again.

Steve: (Blown away) …What?

Tom: You've been through more than most people Steve. You suffer from PTSD, you've befriended animals, married a penguin and had children, travelled to and from an alternate reality by means of an unproven piece of technology, were assaulted and may or may not have a hybrid offspring of some sort, appointed yourself head of state in the aforementioned reality after deposing a usurping dictator, and after medical diagnostic following your return your body was found to be saturated with tachyons.

Steve: No doubt a residual from a medical intervention I had while over there, Dr. Yoshi discovered that I had pancreatic cancer and resolved the matter using a piece of technology. All forms of cancer are easily curable in that reality.

Gen Faust: That would be the information contained on the data stick you brought back then? (Steve nods)

Steve: It was a complete schematic of the technology as well as detailed procedures for curing all forms of cancer.

Gen. Faust: We couldn't access any of it. (Steve stares) You're aware that our technology operates using ones and zeros? (Steve nods) Well theirs operates using quantum mechanics. We don't have anything like that in use, there's technology like that still in R&D but its years from being implemented. (Steve tilts his head back and groans)

Steve: So what then, a desk job?

Gen Faust: Given your exemplary record of service that would be like sending you to hell. I know, …I've been there. (Pause) The promotion you received was to insure that you would receive a more fitting retirement package. (Steve stares in disbelief) Under the circumstances you are being granted an early retirement through medical discharge effective the beginning of November. You'll be expected to turn in your service piece at that time. (The two officers stand up) That concludes this meeting, you are dismissed Captain. (Steve slowly rises and salutes before the officers turn and leave the room.)

Comments and suggestions are always welcome.

Hypertrichosis: Hypertrichosis, sometimes called "werewolf syndrome" is a very rare condition, with fewer than 100 cases documented worldwide. It is a genetic mutation responsible for a disorder that causes people to sprout thick hair on their faces and bodies causing it to resemble fur.


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: Penguins of Madagascar and all original storyline characters are the property of Nickelodeon and the respective creative talents of the show. The creation of this fan fiction is for enjoyment purposes only and no money is being made. All characters of my own creation remain my property and may not be copied or used without permission.

Once More unto the Breech

Chapter 3

By

Wildgoose

(Sunlight reflects off of passing cars outside of the apartment building as Steve walks I through the double set of glass doors while toting the hat of his marine corps service uniform under one arm, a scowl is worn on his face as he lets loose with a heavy grumbling sigh. His boots report each step as he paces across the linoleum to the elevators when as he pushes the button and the doors swing open a familiar voice catches his attention. He turns to see the building superintendent approaching to catch him before entering the elevator.)

Superintendent: Mr. Rothermal, I'm glad I caught you. Do you have a few minutes?

Steve: (deep slow breath) No, not really. You've caught me at a bad time I'm afraid.

Superintendent: I'm sorry to hear that but unfortunately I have to insist, …it's rather important. (Gestures off to the side) This way to my office please. (He leads the way with a reluctant Steve behind him. Once inside the office he closes the door and takes a seat behind his desk with Steve taking a seat on the other side.) Congratulations of the promotion by the way, I don't see you that often so I only just noticed the bars. (Steve nods in response) I'm sorry to have to call you in here; you look like you've had a bad day.

Steve: That's one way to put it, …another is that a couple of people have been added to my crap list.

Superintendent: (Smirks) I'm not one of them am I? (Steve doesn't respond which unnerves him slightly) I'm afraid I need to address a violation of one of the buildings ordinances. That being the one disallowing pets.

Steve: (Dry) I have no pets.

Superintendent: (Pauses to choose his words) Look, …I'm aware that you're a zoo keeper on the side and are trained to care for exotic animals. (Pause) I also know that you're not a reservist that just serves a couple of weekends a month which is why I've often dismissed some of the things that I've seen over the years as you bringing work home with you that you're not supposed to tell me about. I've been able to do this because none of the other tenants have ever brought anything to my attention, I think that this largely has to do with the fact that your wife is the most intimidating person I've ever encountered and everybody is afraid to cross her. (Pause) Until recently anyway, …I received a complaint this week from one of the other tenants on your floor that you are housing animals in your apartment. (Sighs) Having known you as one of my best tenants for over ten years I was prepared to defend you after speaking with your wife only when I got off the elevator and approached your door a penguin wearing pajamas toddled out the door chasing after a ball. Toddled Mr. Rothermal not waddled, this penguin was about the size of a three year old child and when it saw me it waved to me and actually said "hi" before running back into the apartment with laughter. (Pause) Now the last time I checked, the only penguins that grew that large required sub-zero temperatures to survive and definitely did NOT speak English. (Awkward silence as Steve offers no response) I'm not going to ask for an explanation, I know that strange things go on in the world every day and given that you're a military officer who moonlights as a zookeeper I'd bet real money that the only thing you'll tell me is that it's classified.

Steve: It IS classified but I know you can keep your mouth shut right? …RIGHT? (Pause as the superintendent nods) His name is Wight, named for a Scottish veterinarian. He's a highly evolved penguin that was part of a now defunct military research program, I've been charged with his care. (Pause) Now you've heard the phrase "I could tell you but then I'd have to shoot you"? (The superintendent smirks for a moment but that then fades as Steve stares him in the eye.)

Superintendent: (clears his throat nervously) I understand, …and if no one had filed a complaint I assure you I'd be happy to let the matter go. I'd even bring my kids over to play with the little guy so he could have friends, …but I have to address the complaint. Mums the word on what you just told me, but if I don't take care of this the complainant may try to go over my head costing me my job. (Pause) Because I actually saw "the animal", and given that I've been witness to his sentience I use the term loosely so please don't take offense, I'm required by law to give you notice that you are required to remove "the animal" from the building or face termination of your lease and possible eviction. Now I realize the sensitive and difficult nature of the situation so if you can keep Wight out of sight for the time being I will inform the tenant that the matter has been dealt with to keep any further problems from coming your way but unfortunately you're going to have to find other accommodations for the little guy. (Steve purses his lips for a moment before standing)

Steve: Well they say that things happen in three's, …now I just have to wait for the other shoe to drop.

Superintendent: Excuse me?

Steve: We have an understanding. (He turns to leave)

Superintendent: Listen I know you've seen combat and all but I don't have to worry that you're going to flip out or something and I'll find a landmine under my car seat will I? (Steve turns and smirks for an instant before leaving. Ten minutes later Steve enters his apartment to find Kitsune wearing her black kimono while kneeling in a meditation prose a short distance from the door in wait for Steve's return.)

Steve: (Sighs) Spare me the performed apology Kitsune, I already heard about what happened and it was bound to happen sooner or later so get up. Going forward though, I realize how much you honor the old traditions but a simple explanation and if warranted an "I'm sorry" is more than acceptable. God knows I say it enough and sometimes I don't even know why; I just know that whatever happened I was the one who was wrong.

Kitsune: (scowls and crosses her arms as she gets up) (gestures) That's NOT true!

Steve: I know, it just saves a world of aggravation to act that way until everything blows over and I can figure out exactly what happened.

Kitsune: (Gestures) Which you always begin with "what's wrong honey?" (Pause) Why do you always ask the same thing?

Steve: Because that phrase is a critically important weather gauge. When asked "what's wrong" the speed and manner in which a woman replies "nothing" is inversely proportional to the size and severity of the hell storm coming at the man. (Chuckles) A man needs to know when it's time to duck and cover. (The animals begins to emerge from around the room and greet Steve as Kitsune scowls slightly in the background) Now what exactly happened?

Heidi: (using the translator) He got away from me while Kitsune was taking out the garbage, I'm so sorry.

Kitsune: (Sighs loudly) The fault was mine, I left the door open.

Steve: Let it go, we couldn't keep the kid cooped up forever. …But now we have problems, you guys can't stay here any longer.

Margot: (borrows Heidi's translator) Where will we go?

Steve: Relax, nobodies tossing you out into the rain. We're ALL going, it's just a question of where. This place was too small for all of us anyway. (Sighs loudly) In the meantime I have an idea,….where's Keiko and Tatsu?

Kitsune: (Gestures) Ayame took them to the park.

Steve: (Disappointed tone) Huh…I guess he'll just have to go alone.(Raises his voice) Wight, uncle Steve is home! (After a moment the penguin toddles down the hall with glee and clutches Steve's knee in a hug) Have you ever had a snow cone Wight? (The penguin shakes his head) Well if anybody asks you're trying out your Halloween costume okay, you can do that for me right? (Wight nods enthusiastically as the others look on with complete surprise) Let's go buddy… Steve opens the door and allows Wight to toddle past in his pajamas.)

Kitsune: (Gestures with confusion) What's going on?

Steve: I'm shining on the neighbors by celebrating my retirement. (Kitsune's jaw drops in further confusion. Steve steps into the hall and gestures with a finger to his left and then to his right)

Steve: That's right neighbors, forget ALL of you! (Sighs like a weight has been lifted) You didn't hear me say that Wight, okay? (Wight just toddles down the hall) I didn't think so, …now let's go find out what flavor you want. (Mumbles) I convinced people that Det. Margot was a human with an obscure medical condition, …this should be a cake walk. (He follows after the penguin)

Heidi: (Flies over to close the door) (Translator) So what do we do now?

Kitsune: (Gestures) The superintendent would not have paid a visit if a complaint had not been made, (scowls) I will discover who blew the whistle on us.

(The scene changes to the lobby as Steve and Wight move past a small number of people who wear amused expressions as the two pass by. The Superintendent who sees them from his office clutches his sinuses in anticipation of the storm he presumes will come from the attention this will gain. Steve and Wight walk outside onto the sidewalk catching glances from passersby and approach the ice cream cart.)

Steve: Hey Brian, …do you have any snow cones left for us this season?

Brian: (Smirks at seeing Wight) I Always have something for you. (Pause as he looks at Wight) Just curious, is the circus in town?

Steve: (chuckles as he looks slightly to the left and right at some of the other building tenants who are patronizing the cart.) Hardly, (Looks at the reflection of the superintendent approaching from behind on the stainless steel cart counter) this is my nephew Wight. We took him to pick out to pick his Halloween costume while he's visiting and now he's attached to the thing. He wears it all the time, the only way I can get it away from him is to wait until he falls asleep but then he'll go looking for it again tomorrow. I'd bet money that he wears the thing out by Halloween. (Looks down at the penguin) Say hi to Brian, Wight. (He gestures with his hand)

Wight: (giggles a little and then waves speaking in toddler) Hi bwyn…

Steve: What can I say, he's working on it.

Brian: (Whistles slightly) That's a good costume, no wonder he loves it so much. (Pause) That's a REAL good costume, is that thing custom? (Steve nods)

Steve: I only get to see the kid once in a blue moon so I can't help but spoil him.

Brian: (Laughs) That's the best part of watching somebody else's kids, you get to send them home after you spoil the heck out of them. (Leans over the counter) So what flavor would you like Wight?

Wight: (Toddler speak) (wiggles left and right in thought) Um….FITH! (Brian looks at Steve)

Steve: Fish, …he's supposed to be a penguin so he's getting into the part. (Brian laughs)

Brian: Well I think I might have sold the last of my fish snow cones little guy. (Pause as he pulls a sample on a spoon out of the cart to show Wight) How about rainbow, …you have a little of every color with this one. (Wight claps his flippers and does a little happy dance) I think we have a winner. (Brian makes a small snow cone and hands it to Wight) Don't drop it now. (Steve retrieves his wallet) Don't worry about it, happy early Halloween little guy. (Steve and Wight step back from the cart as they receive glowing comments on Wight from the other tenants nearby)

Francine: Oh God, you're so adorable. Can I see who's in the costume little guy? (Wight covers his face with his flippers and turns away) Aww, now you're shy?

Steve: Like I said, he's attached to the thing.

Francine: (chuckles) You make sure you bring him by my door on Halloween, I'll have some goodies to give out this year.

Steve: Will do! (He guides Wight away from the cart and approaches the superintendent closer to the building.)

Superintendent: What happened to classified!?

Steve: It IS, …but I just saved you a bunch of headaches by getting those meddling busybodies off your back for the next two weeks. Now if anybody sees Wight they won't think twice about it, so now you owe me.

Superintendent: …And after Halloween?

Steve: Hopefully we'll be out of your thinning hair by then, that's the part where you redeem the favor. You're going to let me out of my lease without any hassle.

Superintendent: I don't control the billing department that's…

Steve: I know people high up in the DOD, it wouldn't take much to find somebody who has connections with the IRS and have them come down here and crawl up your butt with a microscope.

Superintendent: (Pauses in shock) I'm amazed you didn't pull that card earlier. I'll um…see what I can do.

Steve: It wouldn't have saved you the aggravation of dealing with complaints in the meantime and I didn't think of bringing Wight down here or moving until I got up to my apartment and blew off some steam. (Pause) …And to answer your question earlier, I would never put a land mine under your SUV. (Smirks) I'd call in an airstrike on the thing.

Superintendent: You've got that kind of clout?

Steve: You have NO idea. (Steve walks past him with Wight and into the building)

(The scene changes to two weeks later on Halloween, after the zoo has closed for the day and Steve has completed his rounds several of Kitsune's coworkers from the Evergreen Cineplex begin to show up at the zoo to begin preparations for the annual Halloween show Skipper and crew have put on for the past several years. Nicketti has shown up also to pick up Skipper's team as well as Hannibal and take them to a separate location where they will prepare for their part in the show. There are far more animals participating in the show than in past years which the group plans to explain away with the concept of animatronics through virtual R/C because many are too small to pretend that they are child actors in costumes.

Mike: (As he tries on the virtual head gear that connects via wire to a pair of control gloves) This is pretty cool, what is this stuff supposed to control?

Kowalski: (via a blue tooth style translator that he has attached to his head) That particular unit will allow the user to control the lighting and any effects that we've come up with thus far, the virtual heads up display that will appear in the monocle over each eye will allow for real time command and control utilizing the actuator gloves to manipulate the system as required. We simply need to synchronize the uplink before the show begins to ensure proper operation. We have a similar unit that will allow another user to control the music that is to accompany the show.

Mike: Virtual disk jockey!? Oh hey, I call dibs on THAT one!

Kowalski: (translator) (dry) Yes, …we thought that you might. Jr. actually has dibs on the special effects since he has specially designed them all.

Mike: Is Jr. the one who designed all of the virtual tech?

Kowalski: (Translator) (sighs) Yes, …but I'M the one who designed the real time animal to human translators. (Sighs) Anyway back to the virtual tech, the others will have similar units but their only real function will be to present the illusion that they're controlling (makes air quotes with his flippers) the animatronic animals. As far as I'm concerned they could be playing video games on the things, as long as they look like they're controllers.

Christine: (chimes in after picking up a unit) Sweet!

Skipper: (fits a translator to his head) Nice job on the translators, Kowalski. How did you figure out how to translate animal to human in real time?

Kowalski: Well I don't like to brag Skipper but it was as simple for me as coming up with a poly mutating algorithm that could translate quickly enough without crashing the processor.

Rico: (grunts) Come again?

Private: Sounds like Jr. came up with it to me.

Kowalski: (Annoyed) Not everything cool comes from Jr. you know, his old man hasn't lost his touch yet. Remember the space time transportation device, huh? That was pretty cool wasn't it?

Skipper: You mean the malfunctioning cell phone that nearly got us stranded in an alternate universe?

Kowalski: For the last time, we were never stranded! ….And if my device hadn't taken us there in the first place then Rico wouldn't have his precious trans-dimensional son now would he.

Rico: (grunts) I think we have to give him that one

Kowalski: Not to mention the fact that if I had never invented the device then Margot would never have been able to save herself from death allowing Hannibal to lead his happy little life with a little pup playing at his feet whenever the zookeeper is able to bring him and his mother over.

Private: Technically, Margot didn't exactly save herself so much as her alternate-self saved her inadvertently through an instinctive action.

Skipper: Let it go Private or the whiner baby is just going to keep it up all night long. (Pause) Okay Kowalski, you've had your share of cool inventions over the years with these translators being the latest example. Happy now?

Kowalski: I am NOT a whiner baby; I'm simply a parent genius who's trying to hold his edge against his genius son.

Private: Um not to be rude, …but isn't that like saying that your hands are in your pockets but you're not wearing any pants? (Everybody slowly turns to look at Private) What?

Skipper: Anywho,…where are we at with our choreographer?

Private: Julian is staying in line for now, …for him anyway. He's stopped trying to convince everyone to break format in the middle of the show and shake our booties like there's no tomorrow.

Skipper: Well that's a relief, how did we accomplish that by the way?

Kowalski: (sighs) We let him have a background part with the other animals, he'll get to shake his own booty just in the back where nobody can see him if he does step out of line.

Skipper: Let's hope he stays there but in case he doesn't, what's our contingency?

Kowalski: (smiles) I thought you'd never ask, follow me. (Kowalski leads the other penguins to the HQ where they then proceeded to his lab) Behold, the Animal Showboat Interdiction and Neutralization system.

Rico: (grunts) It looks like a miniature multiple MLRS.

Kowalski: Its small size is attributed to the fact that conventional propellants were able to be replaced with miniature repulsor technology.

Private: There's tiny writing on the frame of the device, I almost can't read it.

Skipper: Well don't keep us in suspense Private, what does it say?

Private: (trying to make out the words) S…T…A…R…K…

Kowalski: Okay, admittedly the original designs for the system were "borrowed" but were later modified by yours truly as well as Heidi to suit our purpose.

Skipper: And what purpose would that be?

Kowalski: Well there was always the concern that Julian would attempt to steal the show, you all know how he likes to be the center of attention,(everybody looks at each other and nods) so Heidi and I came up with the concept of remotely neutralizing Julian, or anyone else for that matter, without giving him the limelight as it were. (Pause) Rico you were right, this IS a miniature MLRS but with a few twists. Instead of an explosive payload inside the warhead there are a small number of micro tranquilizer darts that can either seek multiple independent targets or home in on a single designated target. With this in mind we secretly marked Julian with a subcutaneous implant about the size of a small pea, that way should it become necessary we can bring him down quickly without having to worry about targeting him. Without that little beacon it would take as much as ten seconds or more to lock onto him with the targeting sensors. As Heidi has declined to take part in the chorographical part of the show and since she helped design the system she will charged with operating it should it need to be used. Jr. will be giving her a primer on how to time the operation of the device to coincide with any special effects being used so that humans will be none the wiser.

Skipper: Outstanding Kowalski! (A metallic knock comes from the hatch above a moment before it slides open and a woman's voice echoes through the HQ)

Nicketti: Hey guys, it's time to shove off if we're to be in position at the right time.

Skipper: Alright boys, let's move out! (The penguins all make their way up the ladder with the exception of Private who gestures that he will be along momentarily. Private then makes his way to the girl's quarters where they are helping Marlene, Loki, Yoshi, Ming, and Astrid with any costume effects that include styling of fur and the application of any costume makeup.)

Private: (as he enters the girls quarters) Oh, I see that everything is coming along well. You um..look ghoulish.

Erin: We'll take that as a compliment Private.

Marlene: (looks back from her seat in front of the mirror) Are you okay Private, you look nervous.

Private: Me nervous, of course not. We've done this sort of show for the past several years, it's nothing new. I'm sure I can handle the changes this year.

Elisa: You're going to see Babs though, right?

Private: Yes, but if anything I'm looking forward to that.

Meg: I know what he's nervous about; this is his first time meeting his son face to face. What's his name?

Private: Um, …Rainbow. (Snickering is heard from all the girls) What! It's an Australian name; it was the name of Babs's father. (The snickering has intensified)

Elisa: It sounds something you would call a hippie, you're lucky Skipper isn't here.

Private: (sighs) No need to worry, Skipper already slapped me over it.

Erin: Skipper slapped you, …why?

Private: Well he didn't want to slap a kid so he slapped me instead.

Marlene: Yea, that sounds like our Skipper.

Private: If it means anything to you, he prefers to be called RB. I guess he felt strange about the name as well.

Marlene: Arby? (The girls look at each other) That's not so bad, we can go with Arby.

Private: Actually it's R. B., but tomato tom`ato I guess.

Elisa: Wait, …your kids a fruit!? (Private rolls his eyes)

Marlene: Wait, …how old is Arby?

Private: A little over two, why?

Marlene: So he's an adult then, why are you calling him a kid?

Private: Because I never got to see him as one, not in person anyway. He's still my kid no matter what age he is.

Elisa: Is he going to be in the show tonight?

Private: Yes, he'll be arriving with the others as part of the good guys.

Meg: Wait, who says we're the bad guys?

Erin: We're part of the forces of darkness come to haunt humanity on all hallows eve, remember? AKA, we're the bad guys.

Meg: How come I never got that memo?

Elisa: Clean out your inbox once in a while and you might find it. You know underneath all of those links that lead to penguin courtship videos on the nature channel. (Meg blushes under her feathers)

Erin: Give it a rest Elisa, options are limited around here and we all have needs we get it.

Elisa: Talk about options, I want Private to show me how to get to that other universe with the giant penguins. That sounds like a world full of studs to me, and you don't have to worry about spitting out an egg every now and then because they're all neutered.

Private: Sterile not neutered, and not anymore we fixed that.

Elisa: Really, what did you do jump start their plumbing?

Private: No, we worked out a deal with an isolationist nation of blue penguins that hadn't been affected to acquire genetic samples and the zookeeper sent over the entire stock of otter genetic samples that were still in cryo-storage from when Marlene had the kids.

Marlene: (shock) Huh….what!? You've got to be kidding me! That program was ended, what are those things still doing around here?

Private: They were supposed to have been destroyed but were overlooked for some reason so since they were needed elsewhere the zookeeper sent them to help out.

Elisa: (Sulks a little) I still want to go.

(The scene changes to later in the evening in the park outside of the zoo. The entire area has been set up as a sort of makeshift outside restaurant sponsored by a higher end eating establishment located within the city. Evidence of this is the signage surrounding the eating area indicating the name and location of the sponsor. Those who were not able to gain tickets to participate in the event have gathered on the grassy knolls surrounding the area which is quickly filling up as well as the event has gained notoriety over the years. Behind the eating area which has been made up to look like a fine dining establishment with cloth covered tables and decorative lamp posts that flicker as if lit by candle to provide ambiance is a number of tents. Some of them conceal the restaurant equipment and others to conceal the animals as they prepare for the nights event. Inside the animals tent the people from the movie theater, Jr., and Steve are all performing final checks on equipment and actors to insure that everything goes off without a hitch. Others from Steve's apartment are in attendance simply to lend support and watch the show. In the background Ming can be seen fidgeting nervously as she frets about her part. Before long Julian's voice can be heard offering unsolicited critiques on everybody's warm up routines. He comes upon Ming who does not notice him at first.)

Julian: (fumbles in thought while twirling his digit in front of him for a moment) Um… hey, you there.

Ming: (turns to face Julian) Me?

Julian: Yes you, what are you doing there? You are supposed to be warming up, …instead you look like you could upchuck at any time. Which by the way if you are, try to aim for somebody who's makeup doesn't look right because maybe that will fix it. I mean we're supposed to look like something that crawled out of the garbage can right?

Ming: I think you mean grave.

Julian: Well they both smell the same so what's the difference. …And YOU, don't be so picky for goodness sake. Now what is being the problem here?

Ming: Problem?

Julian: Yes the problem, if you keep wringing your paws they are going to come off that is the problem. It is starting to make ME nervous and you know we can't have that so what are we going to do here to make you stop doing that thing that you are doing. (Ming looks at Julian unsure of what to say) Come on girl spit it out now, just not on me we covered that part remember? What is being the problem!?

Ming: I've never been in front of so many people before, what if I forget my part or something?

Julian: That is simple, …you will humiliate us all and completely ruin the show that I have worked so hard as your king to make perfect your booty shaking. Um, …the others will not feel so great about it either I'm sure that part is being clear to you as broken glass. (Pause) Okay, so you are worried that you will screw up horribly. Here is my advice as your king, (clasps Ming's cheeks with his paws) Stop worrying and just do your part, it is simple booty shaking to a song written by a strange now dead human. Feel the music and make with the booty shaking, ..booty, booty, booty, it is ALWAYS about the booty, you must be remembering that! There now you have my advice I suggest that you make the most of it. I have many important things to do now so I will not be coming by to repeat it to your face again. (Julian walks off pompously with Maurice in tow)

Maurice: I don't really think that was the kind of support that would have done the girl some good your majesty.

Julian: Who is supporting? I just want her to stop doing that thing with her paws, it was freaking me out. (Maurice rolls his eyes and grumbles as the two continue on their way. Marlene who was standing not far off talking to Yoshi about her sudden attachment to a gaudy ring on her digit couldn't help but overhear parts of Ming's conversation and makes her way over to Ming after Julian leaves)

Marlene: (prying) So, …what was that all about?

Ming: (sighs) Oh nothing, Julian was just trying to impart some not so helpful advice to help me along. (Pause) I'm a little nervous.

Marlene: Yea I expected that you might be since you almost never set foot outside of the zoo. Let me guess, butterflies in the stomach, head buzzing, that sort of thing?

Ming: Heart pounding too, I feel like I've overdosed on one of those human energy drinks.

Marlene: Red Bull®?

Ming: No, that one with the green claw marks I think.

Marlene: (Sighs) Monster®, (shakes her head) I made the mistake of drinking that at one of Tony's theater Christmas parties one year, ….never again! I remember lying down under a table out of sight during the party pleading for God to make my heart stop. (Chuckles) Would you mind if I gave you a little motherly advice instead of, you know, Julian's preferred brand? (Ming smirks and nods) The humans will often tell each other to try picturing everyone in the audience in their undergarments; I think this is supposed to interject humor to alleviate the stress. Either that or imagining other people in a more embarrassing situation than yours is somehow supposed to make you feel better. (Pause) Anyway, …my suggestion is to simply pretend that the audience isn't there at all.

Ming: That works?

Marlene: That's how I got past it my first time out there, I was nervous too.

Ming: Why were you nervous though, I thought I'd heard that you used to compete in some zoo internet popularity contest and won multiple times? Wouldn't you be used to being in public?

Marlene: Performing for a camera isn't quite the same thing as performing in public because you can't see the people watching you. Doing tricks for a few people at a time during the day even isn't quite the same as being in front of a huge crowd. A large crowd can have a tremendous psychological effect so what you need to do is take them out of the equation by pretending that they aren't there. It's dark out so that shouldn't be as hard as during the day, if you pretend that nobody is watching you then that should alleviate much of the stress. Just go out there and do your best.

Ming: What if I screw up and make you guys look bad? What if I forget my part?

Marlene: You're my daughter and I love you. You could never make us look bad, just better. And if you forget something, …improvise. We'll make do, you'll see. (Jr. who had come over recently to see what the conversation was about raises his monocles connected to his virtual control gear as Marlene leaves to attend to something else.)

Jr.: Sounds like some good motherly advice, sorry to eavesdrop by the way.

Ming: It's okay. (Gestures to the equipment) So what is that stuff anyway?

Jr.: Some virtual control gear I designed so that I could control the special effects we came up with in real time. (gestures to the monocles) These allow me to see everything that is going on as well as the status of all the equipment. The gloves allow me to interact with the virtual environment and control everything. Here, you try. (He removes a monocle and places it on Ming's head. Ming moves her head around and watches the images displayed on the monocle change.)

Ming: What am I seeing?

Jr.: That's the view from one of the hidden cameras we have out there, that's how I'm able to see everything.

Ming: How many?

Jr.: Twenty four. (he places his other monocle down in front of his eye and gestures with the gloves) Here, let me rotate the camera for you. (Ming watches as the camera view in her monocle slowly moves about to show the entire setup outside and then comes to pause on the crowd.)

Ming: (whimpers) That's a lot of people out there, I think I see a news van.

Jr.: Yea, the show gets more popular every year. (Ming whimpers again) Sorry, I guess I'm not helping. (Pause) I have an idea that could only work for you. (Ming picks her head up in interest.) Remember how your mom said to improvise? (Ming nods) Well do one better, be yourself out there. (Ming looks confused)

Ming: What are you talking about, I'm always myself.

Jr.: No, …I mean be YOURSELF. Use your talents, …just don't do anything over the top. We already have special effects out there, lighting, music, and the like. People will think that it's part of the show. I mean you're going to pretend that they aren't there anyway if that works for you but this would be a chance to do what you can do and still remain anonymous. If anybody asks, they were last minute effects that I added.

Ming: You'd do that for me? (Jr. nods) What should I do?

Jr.: Like I said don't go over the top, do the illusions. Can you do them on that scale? (Ming shrugs) I guess we'll find out then. Second, …WHAT can you do? You know, besides the candle trick.

Ming: I made Hannibal think a doorway was somewhere else so he walked into a wall.

Jr.: (smirks) …And I want to hear that story later. (Pause) Can you do anything else?

Ming: As long as I have a sample to follow.

Jr.: How about that little novelty plasma ball I have in my lab? (Ming takes a deep breath and closes her eyes to concentrate as she holds out her paw. A moment later a miniature plasma ball similar to the one in Jr.'s lab only without the apparatus appears floating in Ming's paw. Jr. smiles from ear to ear.) That could look so COOL out there. (Pause) So okay then, you improvise when necessary out there and from time to time you do your thing. Just remember, don't go overboard or I won't be able to explain it away. (Pause) So does any of that make you feel better? (Ming makes a so-so gesture and hands back Jr.'s monocle.) Don't worry, …I get good vibes about this whole thing. You'll be fantastic out there. (Ming smirks meekly) Now go finish getting ready, we have less than an hour before show time. (Ming takes a deep sigh of uncertainty as Jr. walks off)

Comments and suggestions are always welcome.

DOD: Department of Defense

IRS: Internal Revenue Service

MLRS: Multiple Launch Rocket System


End file.
